hola! i know i am way late in posting. i apologize! trust me, it's not because i have nothing to say! i have plenty to share, just haven't gotten a chance to get on and post. it's been a tough week. it was our first "full" week of school. which means, that teachers started assigning the homework! so it's like, we jumped in, full speed. with 5 days of school, tennis practice/matches, homework, piano, physical therapy... then this week, is when all the school clubs start up. key club, class officers, spanish club, model united nations. and then in october, starts up the art lessons. and then... my favorite, veritas, starts next sunday night! i am so so happy! and then, life groups start up soon! yay!
the ole' hipper. it's pretty incredibly awful! pain has gotten worse, if anything, even with the new pain meds. the pain is currently shooting down my leg, to about my ankle. which is better than yesterday, when it was down to my toes. but... worse than a few months ago, when it ended at my knee. and then of course, from compensating, my left and right knees hurt. but other than that, i'm doing okay! joint-wise!
pots-wise... i'm doing pretty good. been having some symptoms. dizziness is coming back. (which i was worried about). stomach aches and headaches are in full-swing. so far, no blackouts. i'm just really... achy, and feel quite "off-balance" and kind of general-yuckiness! ha ha. but i'm doing fine!
i got my first "d-" on a test, this week. in spanish III honors. which majorly stressed me out. school has always been a really consistent thing for me. like, even when everything else seems out of control, my schoolwork is always pretty consistent and i do well in school. its a huge blessing from god for me. and so, losing that "foundation" this week, really through me. sent me into a bit of a panic mode. but. i'm doing better! i'm trying to see what i could learn through that. one thing that's sticking out to me, is maybe, jesus is trying to show me, that i'm relying too much on earthly "support", and not enough on His heavenly support. you know? like. i rely too much on that "consistent success", and not enough on Him to come through! so maybe, He wants me to disconnect from that earthly "base". if so, it's working!
life circumstances are pretty insane right now! it's kind of like, when i think things couldn't get much worse, they always do! but hey. i'm alive! and our king reigns! and so, things are good! and... i'm learning, that jesus is keeping me relying on him. i'm always asking him to keep my eyes on him and out of temptation. and man. when i keep finding myself on the ground, he's the only one i can look to! besides my carpet. which gets pretty boring after about... a minute. our king is mind-boggling and loving, forever! so, if the only way i can stay faithful to him and he can work through me, is when i'm struggling with circumstances and totally in need of him and his comfort... then, jesus, bring on the struggles. because i only want to live for and with you.
if it will bring Him glory, i'll live through anything.
and amidst all this uncertainty and confusion and pain,
that is one thing i'm SURE of.
i love you jesus.
i am here.
send me.
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5 years ago
2 comments:
You are such a ROCK. (And I REALLY mean that.)
I say, if it helps bring you closer to Jesus, bring on the D- in Honors Spanish. Oh yeah, baby. (There is, if you could hear those few words spoken, a little bit of sarcasm...only a little bit. Cause it's just His sense of humor, to take something that we actually have a reason to work on... in this case, Spanish, and like Milagro, who He OBVIOUSLY is using YOU to bless, and then bend it backwards on us...)
Your schedule continues to worry me. (And exactly what right have I to be worried, anyway?) PLEASE don't wear yourself out!!! Even the LORD GOD Creator of the UNIVERSE took a day to rest. So work hard, play hard and REST HARD. (Dr. Gloerfelt has spoken.)
Love you and praying for you...moi
i've been reading your blog lately- every day in your life is an inspiration, surely, to you readers. :) it's tough to imagine going through what you do, with the faith that you do- i struggle myself with faith and i don't even have many obstacles to face!
i have a suggestion to deal with your pain- ignore it. don't speak of it unless someone asks you about it. ever. i had a friend who went through something similar, and her psychologist recommend that she do this- it really improved things for her. plus people who don't know what you're going through might get impatient if they hear about it all the time.
also, look for people that might cause you to dwell in your pain on bad days- someone may be a true friend, but a bad influence because your friendship is formed on the hardship that you share- especially via pain. anyone who you talk to a lot about experiencing pain or medical problems with (besides a counselor, older mentor [not a peer or someone your age], or parent)is probably someone you should hang out with a little less.
i wish and pray the best for you :) may your spiritual- and physical- journey be blessed.
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