bitterness

i had thoughts running through my mind today at tennis practice that absolutely disguisted me. i was getting bitter, and i hated watching it. so i was having to pray for my sinful human nature, and try to battle it, amidst my tennis match! one of the girls on my team today, was complaining of a "hurting ankle", and so she just sat out all of practice. and my humanness was showing through in my thoughts, as i was thinking, "gr. she is sitting on the bench, and she doesn't even know what pain is. her ankle is hurting? hello! my hip is killing me, my entire leg has a shooting, stabbing, sharp pain. what is she talking about, she doesn't know pain. she should be playing." ooh it's sick. and that's embarassing for me to admit it. but that's what i was thinking. i hate that. why would i think like that? it makes absolutely no difference to me, if she sits out or plays. it's my choice to be playing, i could be sitting out. and since i am so experienced with pain, i should be more compassionate towards others who are injured... and i often am. i guess it's just that i'm a little more hesitant to be sympathetic, when i am actually having to do something that is killing me, and they are sitting out of the same activity because they are "hurting". but when i know that someone is legitimately hurting, i'm quite sympathetic and compassionate, because i've been there and am there! i know what they are going through. but i just hate those thoughts that i had this morning at tennis, so i am praying that jesus would change my attitude.